Vuelvo a mi blog porque me gustaría tener un espacio para mí. Exclusivo para mi y que lo pueda ajustar como yo quiera. Un lugar que sea el reflejo de mi camino como artista. Me cuesta mucho tomarme enserio, jamás lo he hecho probablemente. Pero parte del cambio que quiero tener es creer en mí mismo como un artista. Un artista que se puede desenvolver en distintos medios porque mi curiosidad lo puede más. No quiero ser un trabajador más, no quiero ser un animador más. Quiero crear cosas. Para esto, lo primero es dejar de querer ser un artista y considerarme a mí mismo como un artista. El crear arte viene después. Total da lo mismo se es una mentira al inicio, no he tenido problemas con eso antes. He mentido con ser una persona más espiritual, con ser docente y con ser animador. Mentí tanto que lo logré. Toca mentir con ser un artista hasta que finalmente me sienta como uno.
It wasn't so terrible going to my mom's job. I didn;t really teach much at all. The kids just wanted to draw, not really a class. So that;s what we did, I left them and stayed drawing with them. If they had any doubts I would answer them or give them advice on how to draw or structure certain things in a better way. Todas also came the university teaching evaluations. I work as an assistant professor of 2D animation. I've only been working as an assistant for a year and a half and I've only received three evaluations, since they do one per semester. I always get a little nervous about the evaluations. I feel like I'm not really a very good professional, in general I feel like what I do is never quite right. I'm very demanding with myself, but not the perfectionist type that kills himself until he tries to reach the result he wants, but the type that leaves halfway through because the self-imposed pressure overcomes him. Then as a teacher I feel that I never manage to explain well, that maybe I should not be in that position, but some animator who is better qualified to do classes, who draws better, who animates better. But the three times I have found myself with very good evaluations and full of good comments from the students. I was very touched by the message left by an autistic student, because I feel that it is very difficult for me to effectively reach students with autism.
"Professor Christopher was a very good teacher. I learned a lot with him, I never felt strange, on the contrary he always took care to make me feel comfortable, despite my autism he always showed interet in helping me and answering my questions. Thank you very much for everything."
Maybe it's not a big deal, but it really helps to encourage me to keep going and not get carried away by negative thoughts. Being an assistant is something that I incredibly enjoy, in the future I would definitely like to be a professor. I'm surprised by my enjoyment of teaching since I was always a terrible student. In highschool I always slept in claas and in college I was absent a lot. I was on the verge of failing my last year for non-attendance. But being able to help people really fills my soul, even if I feel I don't do it well. I think students just want a professor who is really present, who is willing to help them and listen to them. Like all people really.
So much for today. Tomorrow I want to see how to add a guest book or a chatbox, maybe both why not. Also start to see how to fix the page little by little.
Tomorrow I'll go to my mother's work. She works in a kind of "children's Home", idk if that's how you say it in english. But there are children and adolescents with criminal records or whose parents have criminal records. Really any child whose rights have been violated. I'm going to go to teach them how to draw anime -which is what they want- to two kids. I'm really nervious, I don't really drawn in anime style, so I'll just go and do my best. I'll bring references and teach them how to build the anatomy og the character, so that in the future when they draw they will have the basics in mind. i'm a cartoon animator, so I know hot to deconstruct a character and separate it into basics shapes. Anime is just more details, i guess. Also, I belive I have good drawing fundamentals. Here is a charcoal reproduction I made of "Saint Jerome in meditation" by Caravaggio.
On the other hand, I want to star blogging to talk about different things that catch my attention. It would perhaps be more of a kind of essays, really. Idk. In the future I would like to make videos talking about these topics. Perhaps to accompany the writings. If I make the videos, idk if I would do them in spanish or english. Spanish is my mother lenguage, but they would not have the same reach as if they were in english.Why do I even care about the reach if no one is even going to read this. So yeah, no more to say. Sorry if my english isn't the greatest, now you know why. I'm helping myself with a translator to write all of this. Any help with the lenguage is welcome! I'm also trying to learn japanese, but more on that another day.
I have never really known how to make art. It's just so strange how people come with ideas an known how to proyect them in a physical space. I mean, I have ideas but I don't really known what to do with them. I consider myself a creative person, just don't have the ability to work with it. Part of why I wanted to make this website is because I want to have a space that allow me to be creative and release my feelings and thoughts. A space just for me. But lately, I'm not happy with anything I do. Everything I do seems like shit to me. Just shit. I try to look things differently, to be positive, but I can't. I'm working on it, doing different things to keep myself busy. I hope this website will help me with that.